197715

Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Darth Vader make it as a stand up comic? Fans thought his sense of humor was a little too on the dark side."

"[Dirty] You know what they say about farm girls and horses... They both fell in mud."

"Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?"

"What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent Van Gogh? You gonna eat that?"

"When you're Russian... There's no time for Stalin"

"When a programmer is born, what are their first words? ""Hello world!"""

"I can't figure out why my son hates me. Tim hates you? No, my other son. I can't remember his name. I just call him ""not Tim"""

"You'll never know how funny a tweet can be until you think of all the ways after posting it."

"Listen buddy, I never said they were for sale. I just put the ""FRESH EGGS"" sign in my yard to brag"

"My smartphone is now all I need to organise events in my life My calendar's days are numbered."