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Joke of the Day

"What peanut butter do total dicks eat? Schmuckers."

"What are the best funny fake names you know?? I submit - Craven Moorehead"

"Yesterday I came out of the closet. Then realized I should probably stop masturbating in my closet."

"Every chair is a reclining chair when you're drunk."

"Asian women look 16 forever and one day out of nowhere look 159 years old."

"Did you hear about Divorced Barbie? It comes with all of Ken's stuff. stolen from /u/LazzzyButtons"

"<enter password> ikilledaman <password must contain a number> *7 hours later* ikilled2men"

"Look guys i thought a gangbang was where we all played drums together, i don't want any part of whatever's happening here"

"I wanted to be a banker But then I lost interest."

"[speed dating] her: I really want to have a child some day. What about you? me: define ""child"""