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Joke of the Day

"I can't figure out why my son hates me. Tim hates you? No, my other son. I can't remember his name. I just call him ""not Tim"""

Next Joke
 
"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? because they're ugly, and they smell bad [and hate jokes](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d2gmw/why_do_girls_wear_makeup_and_perfume/)"
"My date asked me if I smoked after sex. I told her ""I dunno, I've never checked."""
"""I'm a good person, obviously."" --everyone"
"jail phone hey what do you call a phone in jail? a CELLphone :D"
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer! I don't know what he laced them with, *but I have been tripping all day*."
"Just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. Will keep you posted."
"32nd rule of Fight Club is no peanut products are allowed at Fight Club"
"Where do Communists go to get burgers? Czechers."
"What did the vampire say when his son scraped his knee? **""Suck it up""**"