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Joke of the Day
"You'll never know how funny a tweet can be until you think of all the ways after posting it."
Next Joke
"Poetry cannot be justified. It's a typography joke."
"What's Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1"
"An app that detects itself running on other people's phones, then both devices play Random Encounter music. What happens next is up to you."
"still waiting for a Discovery Channel ""How It's Made"" episode on babies. otherwise i fear i'll never figure it out"
"I had a neurotic rabbit once. His name was Stu."
"Helpful Tip.. If you are ever cold just stand in a corner... There normally 90 degrees.."
"How do you know if somebody is a vegan? They'll fucking tell you."
"50 mph winds here and I looked out the window and saw a package of Oreos fly by my house. At this rate, I will never have to leave for food."
"My phone auto-fills FUCKLULZ. Do I get my own bot now?"