197653

Joke of the Day

"I asked my friend if he wanted a drink and he said to surprise him so I brought back a side salad."

"Why are dragons so tired? Because they fight knights!"

"Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner? Because he was Baroque."

"Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays."

"Press 1 for English. Press 2 For shitty customer service in any language."

"My wife came home one day... ... to find me doing her sister up the arse. ""How could you do this to me?"" she cried. I responded, ""Well, I can't. That's why I'm doing it to her."""

"Matthew McConaughey's acting secret is that he always just came"

"Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin."

"my sixth birthday party was so formal that we roberted for apples"

"Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says... ""Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site."""