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Joke of the Day
"Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays."
Next Joke
"How come sneezes get a ""God Bless You"" but coughs get a cold unflinching silence?"
"Listen, I'm sorry... That reaction was WAY over the line.... I actually have no problem with the horse you rode in on...."
"Why can't Chinese emperors commit murder? Because it's irregal"
"*holding a glass of white wine with 2 hands like it's a mug of hot cocoa*"
"I wish genders were more like the twin towers At least the people who changed the number of towers realised we all hated them and they died"
"Press Conference: How do you respond to accusations that you over sexualize everything? Me: *slowly takes entire microphone into mouth*"
"how do you kill two priests toss a small boy between them and watch them fight to the death. The winner has to fight Michael Jackson"
"I fell asleep on a tanning bed... Now I'm out of my grandfather's will"
"[paddling along the amazon silently in a kayak] wife: ""it's so beautiful"" me: ""can you believe they named this after a website?"""