197534

Joke of the Day

"Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is."

"""I'm THIRSTY!"" ""Can I have a drink?"" ""DAAAAAAAAD!"" ""I WANT WAAAAAAAAAAAAATER!"" See? My son can turn water into whine, too. Your move, God."

"I can't believe carotene is STILL in its beta phase."

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere."

"How many Mexican's does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan"

"Yesterday my wife got stung by a bee while golfing I asked where, and she informed me it was between the first and second holes. Being the helpful type, I advised her that her stance was too wide."

"*At The Opera* Her: Where are you going? Me: I have to go to the Men's Room. Her: I have the car keys. Me: Shit!"

"What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday? Forget it once."

"Reddit is like cancer it's much bigger than you thought."

"My apartment smells like someone just took a dump, but nobody is home... That's some spooky shit."