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Joke of the Day
"I hate those unrealistic movies...you know, the ones where men are friends with women."
Next Joke
"There is no way Hollywood could remake Scream for millennials because, none of them would answer the phone."
"What's the difference between a Taliban training camp and a Pakistani wedding? I don't know. I just fly the drone."
"I long for the innocence of youth, back when I was happy just playing with a slinky all day Things are so different now. It's like, 3...4 hours tops and I'm bored with the thing."
"Great Britain has left the EU Now they have a GB of free space"
"A fish asked a lobster why he gets boiled alive The lobster replied ""your face looks boiled"" The fish says ""I guess you can't be roasted"""
"What's the difference between a magician's wand and a nightstick? One is used for cunning stunts, the other is used for stunning cunts."
"You're the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi, and the ketchup to my icecream. My point is, you're worthless."
"Science fact: a dog extracts more information from smelling a pile of excrement than a human does from reading the Daily Mail."
"I haven't pooped in a couple weeks I'm not constipated, I'm just procrapstinating"