197478

Joke of the Day

"Cap: good morning Avengers let's begin Iron Man: wait spider-man is missing Open Mouth Man: weird he was here when i went to sleep last nite"

"Jesus only had 12 followers, also one sold him out to die and another unfollowed Him right before He died. So I guess I'm not doing too bad."

"A man that recently turned blind stabbed himself because he couldn't see the point anymore."

"Nothing says, ""I have a lot of free time,"" more than someone eating a pomegranate."

"*beats arachnophobia* *trips over child dressed as Spider-Man* *fears spiders again*"

"It's gonna be tough for Brad Pitt to start dating again. Everybody knows Tomb Raider sequels are terrible."

"The inventor of puppets must have been really fucking lonely."

"A guy comes into a bar. No wait.. it was a horse. So, a guy comes into a horse..."

"I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare's dead silly. No wonder he hasn't replied."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was."