212444

Joke of the Day

"I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare's dead silly. No wonder he hasn't replied."

"You had me at, ""we'll make it look like an accident."""

"According to science... Apaprnlety hmoosxeulas aer brililnat at unscarbmnlig snetnecse."

"What did Miss Piggy's boyfriend do after he found out she was unfaithful? Kermit suicide."

"What does being questioned by interpol have in common with cunnilingus? One slip of the tongue and you're in the shit"

"Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?"

"To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves"

"So I encountered my friend with a penguin next to him.. So I said to my friend: ""You should take that penguin to the zoo"" So he responds: ""I already did that, but he didn't like it"""

"*hops off a horse* alright buddy, your turn"

"If I've learned one thing from twitter, it's how to get a ton of work done in an hour after wasting 80% of my day tweeting."