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Joke of the Day

"The inventor of puppets must have been really fucking lonely."

"Conan: Texas recently had 9 earthquakes in a day. But don't worry: Scientists are hard at work figuring out exactly what God was angry about"

"Wearing shades inside makes me look cool, right? *Trips over the cat*"

"What's the difference between a cheap hooker and an expensive one? You'll get crabs from the cheap one, and lobsters from the other. Heard this years ago, hope this ain't a repost. Cheers"

"Women are like pianos... if they're not upright, they're grand."

"My girlfriend says I listen to too much Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"What do you call a belt made of clocks? A waist of time"

"What would happen if a rodent were to crawl into, and die in, a piece of equipment made by Dell? ... it would create a fell Dell smell."

"Did you know if you send a fancy iPhone emoticon to a non-iPhone user, it just shows up as a middle finger?"

"So what's Robin Hood up to these days? He changed his name to 'Bernie Sanders' and is now running for president."