197378

Joke of the Day

"Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!"

"""Shut the door, drop your pants, and get on top of me."" -My toilet"

"Do you think Gillette employees ever call in Schick to work?"

"Just heard a little kid tell his dad he was a lion and his dad said ""Wow!"" What a fucking pair of idiots."

"Seeing as Rick Parfitt has died, does that mean... ...that the Status Quo has not been maintained?"

"There's only one kind of humor in Africa... Dry humor."

"Am thinking of watching ""Les Miserables"". Am dying to find out why this dude Les is so sad. If I could just meet this Les guy and cheer him up, he'd be... (wait for it)... less miserable. :P"

"Where do you get a drink on Excel? ....Formula bar"

"It's not about the sacrifices you have to make, it's about making sure your knife is sharp and they can't wiggle away."

"Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because all men are pigs."