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Joke of the Day

"Do you think Gillette employees ever call in Schick to work?"

"When I was 15, my dad found my stash of porn magazines. To teach me a lesson, he sat there and made me masturbate to every one."

"Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? Pupil: No teacher I'm having trouble listening!"

"What happened when the USS Enterprise got a new toilet? William Shatner"

"A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number."

"[OC] Did you hear the one about the douchebag bodybuilder with the anal fissure? He's one ripped asshole."

"The phrase ""Tricky Dick"" refers to both former President Richard Nixon and penis puppeteer Rich Handey. Be specific in your usage."

"So, my boyfriend said my handjobs weren't very good I beat him into submission."

"I just put a whole frozen chicken up my arse April fools! It was just a drumstick."

"Ever been kicked in the shin because you don't have any Fruit Loops? Welcome to parenthood."