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Joke of the Day

"Do you think Gillette employees ever call in Schick to work?"

"Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies? I want that job. I could really screw with some people."

"I've always been bad at studying for tests.. ...but recently I noticed I work a lot harder while listening to the 50 shades of Grey soundtrack"

"What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!"

"I bumped into my old English teacher. He said, ""What's new?"" I said, ""It's an adjective."""

"the scariest thing about teenage girls is all they have to do is laugh near you and they instantly make you feel like total shit"

"What do you call two mexican firefighters? Hose A and Hose B."

"A patient said to a psychiatrist, ""I keep wanting to cover myself in gold paint."" The psychiatrist said, ""Sounds like you have a gilt complex."""

"A Physics Joke Atoms are very hard to entertain. Only if you approach them with exactly the right energy they get excited."

"Got told this at work today all the guys thought it was funny and so thought iI'dput it to the vote? What's the best part about having a hooker die on you? The second hour is free."