197314

Joke of the Day

"Why is it called PMS? Because mad cow disease was taken."

"My neighbour is on his front porch wearing a Halloween mask and oven mitts while trying to remove a wasps nest. This should be interesting."

"What did the polygamist horse get on his wedding night? A double bridle"

"I got arrested one night while camping... The policeman said I was loitering within tent."

"I went to buy a Christmas tree today The cashier asked me, ""Will you be putting that up yourself?"" I reply, ""No you sick fuck I'll be putting it up in my living room!"""

"I met a Slavic feminist once. She told me to Czech my privilege."

"I'm trying to figure out which iPhone to buy. The black one runs faster, but the white one actually works."

"This one is for the Electricians A black guy, a red guy and a blue guy all walk into a bar. The bartender says ""we don't serve your kind around here, this here is the neutral bar""."

"I'm going to start rubbing myself up against people when they've got nice food. If it works for my cat, it'll work for me."

"What do you get by cross-breeding a jehovahs witness and an atheist? Someone who pointlessly knocks on the door."