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Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to figure out which iPhone to buy. The black one runs faster, but the white one actually works."

"There's an Anti-Parallelogram Party tonight. Be there, or be square."

"In the 50's, a small city granted a two-singer a capella team exclusive rights to perform on street corners. Other street performers sued. They claimed it was a doo-wop-poly."

"What is the 2nd worst reason to become a historian? A. To find evidence of time travel. What is the worst reason to become a historian? To find evidence of your own time travel adventures"

"Best Black Friday Deal Trump selling out all his supporters at 70% off"

"The down arrow key on my laptop isn't functional. IT asked me if they should call the on-site repair guy to come in today... I told them it wasn't pressing."

"Question about a song: Who is Phyllis Navi Daad and why are wishing her a Merry Christmas?"

"Do you know what a Freudian slip is? It's when you mean one thing but fuck your mother."

"How do you know you're talking to a pilot? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"What do you call it when a guy pees into a bowl after sex? Split pee soup."