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Joke of the Day

"There's no way I'm the only person who thinks Kristen Stewart is doing the world's best Garfield impression."

"Woman at dentist"

"What happens when you get hit by a rental car? It Hertz."

"All of us had a good time with those Harambe memes Now the joke is dead because all of you little kids jumped into it."

"""Don't even talk to me until I've Instagrammed my coffee."" - Portland, Oregon"

"Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"

"20/20 asking Bobby Brown about his having sex with a ghost... "" What?! No, I'm sorry - I said it was a goat! """

"Pigeons die when they have sex... Atleast the one I fucked did."

"I once had a midget for a wife. until I took an arrow to the knee."

"How much does it cost to buy multiple prosthetic limbs? An arm and a leg."