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Joke of the Day

"There's no way I'm the only person who thinks Kristen Stewart is doing the world's best Garfield impression."

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"What sound does a Chinese doorbell make? Ching Chong"
"My wife wants to have a kid... I bought her a goldfish and told her to wait a few million years."
"Did you hear about the constipated math teacher's problem? She worked it out with a #2 pencil."
"I can't believe how different life was before *googles* Al Gore invented the Internet"
"Why couldn't the BMW fit into a narrow parking stall at Target? because it was being driven by a woman"
"Why did the duck go into Rehab? Because he was a quack head"
"What is the best thing about kids? Making them!"
"Whilst reading through an ancient book at the British Library, I found a magic spell' that would supposedly make women want to have sex with me. Worked like a fucking charm."
"How do you get a drummer off of your porch? pay for the pizza."