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Joke of the Day
"What do ISIS and cats have in common? They're both a bunch of pussies. Credit to Stephen Colbert."
Next Joke
"A dead-beat Dad is on AskReddit... He opens a thread asking ""Will my father ever love me?"" He hides the child comments."
"The scariest thing about survival of the fittest is that it means the idiots currently surrounding you are the best evolution has to offer."
"What is a stalkers favorite part of a hospital? the I see you."
"What are the two fastest things in the world? The second fastest is your asshole snapping shut. The first fastest is that little drop of water..."
"[I open my lunchbox to find a copy of the Magna Carta] But that means... [cut to British Library patrons thoughtfully examining a Capri Sun]"
"Artist Prince has passed away at the age of 57 I guess this is what it sounds like when doves cry."
"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."
"Two muffins were in an oven... One says to the other, ""is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"" The other screams, ""AHHHH! Talking muffin!"""
"How do you tell a British guy that it's his turn to play ball? ""Europe"""