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Joke of the Day

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."

"How to get fucked up in bakery? Get creampied."

"If I was gonna kill myself, I'd fly a helicopter into the sun. It'd be badass. Babes would weep for the carnal possibilities they missed."

"Scientists say men think about sex every 8 seconds... ...that's why I can eat a hot-dog in 7"

"Did you hear about the pizza cook who died in the pizza oven explosion? They had to peel him off the ceiling."

"Look UPS chick, you can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect them to always have their pants on, and not to be covered in Baby Oil!!"

"Kids are like farts... I hate everyone elses but for some weird reason I like my own."

"I have a question of the most importance!? If I find a job in the classifieds...does that mean I can't tell anyone!?"

"What is a Ghosts' favorite type of party? A BOOkake party!"

"My dad told me that no one Really needs Heroin in thier Life I think my dad is sexist"