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Joke of the Day

"The makers of Pedia-Lite are making emory boards for kids. They call them Pedia-Files."

"Picking up women in bars is like picking up Avocadoes in a supermarket... You have no idea how damaged they are until you get them home."

"Did I ever tell you about the worst blowjob I ever had? It was FANTASTIC."

"If I had a penny.. for every time a girl asked me out I'd have 5 cents. She said if I came back a sixth time, she'd call the cops."

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint"

"Nothing beats a pretty girl with a beautiful singing voice except for Chris Brown"

"What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard? Edward Snowed In"

"I got jumped by five black guys in Baltimore. The car started right up but they said I'd need a new battery."

"I realised today after seeing gray hair in the mirror that my dream of being a child star will never happen."

"What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs, or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob."