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Joke of the Day

"I realised today after seeing gray hair in the mirror that my dream of being a child star will never happen."

"Who is Samuel L Jackson's favorite historical figure? Oedipus"

"A man and a doctor are talking... The doctor says ""I have bad news. You have cancer, and you have Alzheimer's."" The man replies, ""Thank God I don't have cancer."""

"Why'd the hipster burn his mouth? He had his soup before it was cool."

"Former presidential candidate Senator Sanders falls ill. What do you call him? A sick Bern."

"What do Asians do during an erection? They vote"

"So I was fucking this woman... And she said that she wanted 12 inches and she wanted it to hurt, so I stuck it in 3 times and hit her with a baseball bat."

"My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I always relate everything to Batman. What a Joker."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light-bulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"Weird is a side effect of awesome."