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Joke of the Day

"What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs, or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob."

"Friend ran in the Boston Marathon, He said he had a blast but can't feel his legs."

"I will punch you in the face. OK not really - but I will roll my eyes at you, hard."

"Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about how when you fall in love, it's best to just kill yourself."

"When a man sleeps with a lot of women.... ....he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum. -Another gem by Jimmy Carr"

"I just saw Madonna climb out of a hollowed out tree trunk in the woods near my house."

"The thing about reverse psychology is that everybody gives you downvotes..."

"It's rude when people ask me what I did all day like growing my hair isn't enough."

"What do you call 2 doctors walking together? Pair-o-Medics"

"If I meet you for a date and you don't look anything like your pic, you're buying drinks for me until you do."