196316
Joke of the Day
"My 5yr old eats chicken wings with the precision of a hitman cleaning his rifle."
Next Joke
"When I was in high school, I was part of the French club. We didn't really do anything, but every once in a while, we'd surrender to the German club."
"When I was younger, I thought I had a Chinese friend. But it was just my imaginasian."
"What do you call a cold North African? A Brrbrr"
"I hope no one I know ever has an emergency that they can't text me about. Because, answering my phone? No thanks."
"Making my voice mail message say ""Just hang up and text me."""
"Shift the power at family gatherings by telling older relatives you didn't recognize them because they've gotten so big."
"2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad"
"Dentist pulled the wife's tooth, she cried. Dentist told her not to put anything hard in her mouth, I cried."
"Household chores How do you turn a dishwasher into a lawnmower? Send the bitch outside."