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Joke of the Day

"[first date] HER: Do you have any hobbies? ME: Yes! Wait, did you say ""hobbits""? HER: No, hobbies ME: Oh, then no"

"Here's a joke just for reddit: How many narwhals does it take to screw in a light bulb? Bacon"

"23% of traffic accidents involve cell phone use, but 77% do NOT involve cell phone use. Statistics don't lie. It's safer to use your phone."

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr.Dre"

"Eat local. Your neighbor's food."

"I've fallen in love' My husband yelled to me as his arse cheeks splashed against the toilet water."

"People who generalize... I would finish the joke, but redditors are smart enough to see where it's going."

"What does Bill Cosby and a ninja have in common? You don't see either one coming."

"Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms."

"Q: Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes? A: He wanted to go bear foot."