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Joke of the Day

"Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone but I can't make long distance calls any longer! Operator: Don't worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!"

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"What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? I haven't seen you for a year!"
"My friend and his girlfriend are looking for a girl to have a three-way with... I told him to find someone whose parents are divorced. You want to find a girl who is comfortable ruining relationships."
"Q: Where can you find an ocean without any water? A: On a map!"
"What's Forrest Gumps password? 1forrest1"
"A Succubus was arrested at a KIA dealership today. She was stealing souls. First time on Reddit! Hey guys!"
"How many fat people does it take to get a subreddit banned? [This post has been banned for your protected - Ellen Pao] ^^^NINJAEDIT: ^^^Just ^^^one"
"BREAKING: FBI discovers that Hillary's 30,000 deleted emails were all Facebook notifications from Biden tagging her on cat videos."
"It's hard explaining puns to kleptomaniacs... ...because they always take things literally."
"West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I've been shot in the arm."
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