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Joke of the Day
"What do you say to a thin American? ""How's the chemotherapy going?"""
Next Joke
"If you're scared of butter... use cream."
"Parents, raise your kids well, or they grow up to be like your coworkers."
"So a guy comes into my bar for a beer... I give it to him and he says, ""Hey! There's a fly in this!"" Embarrassed I look and say, ""Oh no, that's just Gnatty Lite."""
"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Yes I remain sweet & quiet but on the inside I'm composing a strongly worded email"
"How do you know humans can't reincarnate as insects? You've ever gotten one bug bite not on your crotch (or tits)."
"Do I have a police record? No... but I have two of their albums on tape."
"Modern art.. I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art? I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror!"
"Every day is the first day of the rest of your life. So I live like a newborn, sleepy and confused."
"Half Life 3 lol"