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Joke of the Day

"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Yes I remain sweet & quiet but on the inside I'm composing a strongly worded email"

"""The best things in life are free."" ~ shoplifters."

"Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I've gotta go find my clothes."

"Men are like shag carpets. Soft fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on."

"its all fun and games until someone loses an I?. then we cant play scrabble anymor"

"I just hate when these girls take selfies on road specially when i am peeing in the background."

"Very little scares me. So does very big."

"Bruce Wayne needs to watch his salt intake, his sodium is through the roof."

"You know when you read a page of a book and then realize you didn't absorb any of it? I think I did that with my life."

"What department store is named after the things jews hate the most and love the most? JC Penney. ^I'm ^^going ^^^to ^^^^hell."