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Joke of the Day

"How do you know humans can't reincarnate as insects? You've ever gotten one bug bite not on your crotch (or tits)."

Next Joke
 
"I dropped my phone in the toilet, so I put it in a bowl of rice, and waited for the Asians to come and fix it."
"Why I don't watch science documentaries with my mum. Man on TV: Microwaves travel at the speed of light Mum: Fuck me, that's impressive. Microwaves are heavy."
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Steamroller Barbie ...doll squashed flat"
"What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up? Its axle rose."
"So a leper goes to a prostitute... She begins to perform fellatio on him. After he finishes, he says to the girl ""Go ahead and keep the tip""."
"""Grandpa, get out of the bathtub. You'll get cold and die."" Grandpa got out of the bathtub, got cold, and died..."
"When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just ""Morning,"" don't be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ ""Noon."" Seriously, what did ya expect?"
"So I've been thinking the world's getting more pessimistic... What do you fucking retards think?"
"What is a great game for unvaccinated children? Marco Polio"