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Joke of the Day

"Modern art.. I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art? I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror!"

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"What's Lorde's favourite band? Yeah Yeah Yeahs"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? For attention"
"As a doctor, I once had to remove the spine of a pirate He was all for it and said ""It was holding me back"""
"Dark Humour - Baby in Blender Q : When you put a baby into a blender, why do you put her in legs first ? A : So that you can see the expression on the face........."
"Fat joke with girlfriend Me : I want to go to McDonald's grab something to eat Gf : yeah that's what fat people do !!! Me : alright then you can grab something for me ! Thanks babe :)))"
"Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans."
"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."
"A man hires a $10 hooker and gets crabs... He goes back with the hooker and complaints , she says ""what were you expecting for 10 bucks? Lobster?"""
"Elon Musk's space travel corp. decided not to fund the recent reboot of Carrie, just because they were scared... I guess you could say it was a *Sissy SpaceX.*"