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Joke of the Day

"Just went to the dentist. He's a pretty average, normal guy so I assume he'd be one of the four out of five."

"So I got a nose job last Tuesday... It's amazing what hookers will do if you tip them. (Original joke)"

"1,3,7,9 Were murdered last night What are the odds of that happening?"

"A battery is like a loner They're both not included in anything"

"[NSFW] What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common? They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America."

"WISE MAN #1: I brought gold for the babe WISE MAN #2: frankincense WISE MAN #3: myrrh ME: *pulls out Chili's gift card* I hate you guys"

"Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons... It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada."

"I listen to trump rallies before I go to bed They're all white noise."

"My wife wanted bigger breasts. I told her to rub toilet paper between them and over time they'll grow huge. She asked, ""How do you know it will work?"" ""It worked for your ass didn't it?!"""

"Two mutes walk into a bar and one says to the other:"