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Joke of the Day

"Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons... It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada."

"When I'm on phone with tech support or costumer service, I say the whitest shit. ""Sure thing"" - ""You bet"" - ""Correct"" - ""Tell me about it"""

"Why are hurricanes named after women? Because they come in wet and wild, and leave with your house and car."

"When robots take over, information will be measured in terrorbytes. Just something I came up with =)"

"I don't think Muslims go far enough.... I don't think Muslims go far enough in killing people who draw images of the prophet Mohammed. I think they should kill people who are named after him as well."

"Tommy Cooper gag A classic Tommy Cooper gag ''I said to the Gym instructor ""Can you teach me to do the splits?'' He said, ''How flexible are you?'' I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays'', was fifth."

"The only person who's never seen what a chef in a pizzeria looks like is the artist who draws the cartoon chefs on pizza boxes."

"When I was younger, I was told that anyone could become President. Seeing Trump's campaign, now I believe it."

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns... But I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"I have a friend named Tim who is dyslexic and shares too much. We call him Tmi."