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Joke of the Day
"what do you call someone with unreasonable hearing? ear-rational"
Next Joke
"In my defense I told him it was my cheat day and I didn't understand why he brought home cupcakes and not Juan from the gym"
"""I saved this for thirty years so I could give it to you and you could throw it out."" - Moms"
"I may be delusional, but at least every single person I've ever met is in love with me"
"Did you hear the joke about King Midas and King Oedipus? It's pure, motherfucking gold."
"no homo but imagine sleeping with a grizzly bear and being the little spoon..shit would be 100x better than a snuggie"
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? I have a flesh-eating disease, and it's slowly killing me."
"Here's a good one The 2016 political race."
"My great-grandmother lived to be 106 and never needed glasses. She always just drank straight from the bottle."
"Sobriety test Cop: You been drinking? Me: No. Cop: Say the alphabet backwards. Me: Alphabet the. Cop: Hilarious. Say each letter. Me: Each letter."