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Joke of the Day

"So I got a nose job last Tuesday... It's amazing what hookers will do if you tip them. (Original joke)"

"What's pretty and expensive but has no use? Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf."

"Answer to the seagulls riddle. To beat the Portuguese (it's a New Bedord/Falmouth/Vineyard joke)."

"What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!"

"Why do hunters make better lovers? - They penetrate deep into the bush... - They shoot at least twice... - They eat what they shoot..."

"The barman says 'I'm sorry we don't serve time travelers.' A time traveler walks into a bar..."

"I'm Mexican and Filipino. No matter how you look at me, I'm good at cleaning."

"That feeling when you think someone's smiling at you but it's actually directed at someone behind you is the way I feel all the time"

"I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick."

"i want to be objectified but only by very specific people"