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Joke of the Day

"Personally, I think the title of ""World Champions"" is ridiculous. This is America, we're Universe Champions!"

"What do you get when you give a duck a knife? A murder most fowl."

"""I like Trump because he isn't a politician."" Right, because whenever my toilet breaks I call my electrician."

"The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the south."

"When someone tells me to give them a straight answer, I make sure I go out of my way to give them a really gay one."

"What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world!"

"Birdshit Why do birds fly upside down over Australia? Because it's not worth shitting on."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they all screw in sleeping bags."

"Signed up for Gmail and set my password as 'Mypenis' Google said it was too short. :("

"What does Tupperware and a sealion have in common? They both like a tight seal."