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Joke of the Day

"I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long."

"A newbie at work asked me if I knew where the coloured printer was. I said ""It's 2016, Jamal, you can use any printer you want"""

"Just had an interview with a girl with a lazy eye. So I just had an interview with a girl with a lazy eye....didn't know what eye to look at.....so I just stared at her tits."

"Did you hear about the policeman who arrested the two boys, one who had a battery in possession and the other a firework? He charged one and let the other off."

"I fought in Vietnam I went there last year and some kid took my Cheetos so I hit him."

"ahhh. this weather takes me back to the glory days of stealing dad's lawnmower & joyriding all day until the squirrels made the blades stop."

"What is the name of the guy with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

"I can never find my cars keys but I won't forget that time you checked out another woman at the mall four years ago."

"There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups."

"How many Feminists does it take to change a Light Bulb? Two - One to change the Bulb and one to Blow Me"