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Joke of the Day

"ahhh. this weather takes me back to the glory days of stealing dad's lawnmower & joyriding all day until the squirrels made the blades stop."

"Soviet Russia In Soviet Russia you no criticize government, government criticize you"

"A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he's naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer"

"What was eating away at the computer's RAM storage? I don't know, but it was going at it one byte at a time."

"what did one snowman say to the other? do you smell carrots?"

"If Taylor Lautner bites you, how much time do you have until you turn gay?"

"A nicer way to tell someone their breath stinks is to say ""I'm bored, let's go brush your teeth!"""

"Help, I accidentally ... build a shelf?!? What should I do?"

"LEONARDO DECAPRIO WINS AN OSCAR... ... oh wait, it's not a joke this time."

"The secretary keeps hearing music coming from the printer... I think the paper is jamming."