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Joke of the Day

"ahhh. this weather takes me back to the glory days of stealing dad's lawnmower & joyriding all day until the squirrels made the blades stop."

"What do beekeepers say when they go to work? ""Alright, let's get down to beeswax!"""

"Why should you try to date girls you meet at the gym? Because you already know she'll work out."

"Do you have eggs for breakfast? Kevin bacon"

"What did the pirate say to the prostitute? Thar she blows!"

"Procrastination is like Masterbation In the end you just fuck yourself"

"A man in Victorian clothes just appeared out of thin air and handed me a fistful of herbs. I think he might be a Thyme traveller."

"I won the meat raffle in the bar. Wasn't the answer my kids were expecting when they asked how I met their mother."

"There are two kinds of people in this world... Those that can extrapolate from an incomplete statement,"

"Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones? Because they should use protection to practice safe text"