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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the policeman who arrested the two boys, one who had a battery in possession and the other a firework? He charged one and let the other off."

"Why are there so many female archaeologist? Bitches love digging up the past"

"I'm like a cartoon character, not because I'm cute or funny, but because I wear the same clothes every day."

"Why is the letter 'B' commonly regarded as a pervert in the alphabet? Because he can see the D"

"*accidentally grabs a fork from the silverware drawer instead of a spoon but I'm too lazy to go back so it takes me 47 min. to eat my soup*"

"What do you call alcohol in a birdbath? Tequila Mockingbird!"

"What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods."

"Sex is like pizza... If you are using bbq sauce, you better know what the fuck you are doing."

"wife: ugh I feel so old me: you're only 36 wife: ugh me: that's like three 12yr olds wife: what me: what"

"What do you call a group of twelve, angry, well-endowed men? A hung jury."