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Joke of the Day

"If we were in a fight, I'd mop the floor with you... Except I don't do housework."

"I used to love correcting people's grammar until I realized what I loved more was having friends."

"SHE sells sea shells by the seashore. HE thinks selling shells is the next big thing. THIS FALL zoey deschabl & bemdict cumblach are, IDIOTS"

"Do you like dragons? I'll be dragon deez nuts across ya head shortly."

"*sets down half eaten bag of potato chips on the elliptical*"

"What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up!"

"How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead..."

"I thought it was weird when my boss at the bakery asked me to pack fudge Cause we don't sell fudge."

"What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador."

"Why are black people unable to get a PhD? Because they can't get past their masters."