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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador."
Next Joke
"Lord of the Rings marathon -Do you know what a Lord of the Rings marathon is? -Yes -But do you know what a Lord of the Rings triathlon is? -No? -That's when you watch all three of them"
"BUILD A MAN A FIRE... BUILD A MAN A FIRE AND HE'LL BE WARM FOR A DAY SET A MAN ON FIRE, HE'LL BE WARM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE."
"What's the best way to make an egg roll? You push it! I deserve salmonella for even posting this..."
"How do you know you've been burgled by asians? You come home to find your math homework was done, your computer was upgraded, and they're still trying to back down the driveway."
"this guy said i had a chip on my shoulder. i looked over and saw a bowl of salsa on his. i knew right then kids. your father was my soulmate"
"Birds do it, bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it, let's fly headfirst into a plate glass window."
"My doctor told me, ""If you don't quit smoking, it doesn't really matter how poorly you eat"" and that was the best day of my life."
"Siri, what's depression? Siri: Here are your directions to Chuck E Cheese."
"You know how to scare a bunch of bees? BOOBIES!!!"