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Joke of the Day

"How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead..."

"What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? ..."

"The best part of dating a homeless girl is You can drop her off anywhere."

"My dog is either dreaming or can't quite figure out how to shape shift."

"I think I'll design something cool, get a bunch of people to like it, and then make it steadily worse with every update. Oops, been done."

"When someone yells ""Fire!"" at my house, I'll be the first to leap from the toilet and fall flat on my face because my legs fell asleep"

"She blinded me with Science. Okay, it was pepper spray."

"There is no better karate instructor than a spider web in your face."

"Where do blind people got to get their college degrees?"

"So there's a guy with a speech impediment.... It's funny because his life is hard, and he was relentlessly ridiculed in grade school."