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Joke of the Day
"What did one eyeball say to the other? Between you and me, something smells."
Next Joke
"*painting your nails* one hand : perfect. other hand : looks like a blind cat did it."
"In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York!"
"My school principal is also a mechanic When I asked him about my shaky car, he said it was grounds for suspension."
"I'm not saying I leave my wife sexually satisfied... But my neighbour just asked me to turn down the bass."
"[USPS] M: *hands change of address form* C: Ma'am, this just says ""bathtub."" M: I live there now. C: We can't send mail to a bathtub. M: Yay"
"A man walks into a bar.... ...sits down, orders a beer, and begins to gaze longingly at the barmaid. The barmaid hands him the beer, returns the stare and says... ""Take a pitcher, it'll last longer."""
"Sorry I ate your baby but you shouldn't have wrapped it like a burrito."
"Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young."
"*yawning at an art museum* ""I already saw that on Tumblr."""