195314

Joke of the Day

"A bird in the... *BLOCKED* Birds of ... *BLOCKED The early bird catches the wo...*BLOCKED & REPORTED FOR ABUSIVE CONTENT -worms on Twitter"

"I quit cold turkey. I just reheat it now."

"[First day as a superhero] Oh hell yeah! *sees a crime happening* Already? Ok... *the bad guy looks really mean* Umm, I'll get the next one"

"CNN: We're not sure but we'll report it anyway."

"As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime."

"What do you call an std that only reptiles can get? Gatoraids."

"Devil worshipper leader: ""Due to a typo we have summoned the wrong demon."" Stan: ""Hey there."""

"How do you get the emo out of the tree? Cut the rope."

"Your honor, may I approach the bench? ""You may."" *walks up to bench* *boops judge's nose*"

"""Not much. Just hanging out, hoping for World War III."" - Map makers"