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Joke of the Day
"CNN: We're not sure but we'll report it anyway."
Next Joke
"Me and bros invented a new drinking game Draw a card, and if its black, take a shot we call it Ferguson"
"When coining nicknames, be sure it reflects how that person has impacted your life. For example, my two sons Buzzkill and Third Mortgage."
"i have a very sore throat & your suggestion of a shot of whiskey only helped in the way that i no longer care about my extremely sore throat"
"What do ISIL and Little Miss Muffet have in common? Both have curds in their whey. -Credit goes to my professor"
"I wish i could Google anything. I'd type: ""where da fuck iz my phone?"" and it'd be like: ""in da fridge dumbass."""
"What do you call a drunk muslim woman? Stoned."
"WHATS UP!! WHATS UP!!! All the bulimic bitches in the house say ""BLAAARRGGGH!!!"""
"Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: A Rip Off"
"Ants can lift 20 times their bodyweight which is really helpful if you ever need help moving a single blade of grass."