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Joke of the Day

"A man buys a house The guy he buys it from says ""we printed out the deed but didn't have paper so we printed it on this plank of wood, will that be okay?"" ""That wooden deed"""

"What do you call two doctors with the same career? Pair of medics."

"Hello, Gotham Child Services. Oh dear. Both dead? My my. Well, does the child have a Butler that can raise him? Cos it's a lot of paperwork."

"The camera adds 10 pounds. The front facing iPhone camera adds 437 pounds."

"I went on a date with a girl I met from twitter once. It didn't work out, but he's one of the nicest guys I've ever met."

"My friend Oscar met Leonardo DiCaprio and told him a joke. He didn't get it."

"I like my men how I like my wine. Twelve years old and locked in a basement."

"Ask me why I'm bad at telling jokes - ""why are you bad at telling jokes?"" - ...oh wait. Shit! ughh ... I fucked it up."

"Why didn't Wile E. Coyote just spend all that Acme money to buy an actual dinner?"

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know .There was a long silence and then she hung up."