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Joke of the Day

"Your honor, may I approach the bench? ""You may."" *walks up to bench* *boops judge's nose*"

"Only trust people that like big butts. They cannot lie."

"I went to an archery range. I shot a lot of targets in arrow."

"Why won't you read this joke? Cause you've already reddit!"

"Disclaimer: My jokes are not always based on true events. Use as directed. Side effects may include genital swelling & loss of lunch."

"What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch? An ingestigation"

"Putin takes over entire world while everybody searches for the missing plane."

"Have you heard about the new IPhone 6? I guess it's got people all bent out of shape."

"BIDEN: I'mma punch him when he comes here. OBAMA: No, Joe. Don't do that. BIDEN: Punch him round the back. OBAMA: Joe. BIDEN: Kick, then."

"Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me."