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Joke of the Day

"[First day as a superhero] Oh hell yeah! *sees a crime happening* Already? Ok... *the bad guy looks really mean* Umm, I'll get the next one"

"My sex life is like the punch line of this joke"

"Dad and son A son asks his father ""Why does my bum hurt"" while the father replies ""Because I love you son"""

"Wife: Why the hell did you buy a buffalo? Me: I'd rather have a buffalo and not need it than need a buffalo and not have it."

"I went to the doctor. I went to the doctor with a stomach ache and I left with cancer! I was mad as hell!"

"If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them."

"the day i feel like a real adult is the day i can wear a white shirt and keep it stain-free."

"Two seats open. One next to a good looking girl who noticed me as I walked in. The other by a wall outlet. She'll find love in another man."

"Hear of the shortest suicide note ever? Life sucks, girlfriend doesn't."

"Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday"