194985

Joke of the Day

"Every time I'm at the dentist my doctor makes me feel like a bad Christian I'm Jewish."

"Cop: license and registration please. Me: (gives cop both) Cop: you drinking tonight? Me: no. Cop: you handed me 2 empty beer cans."

"[dog on trial for murder] lawyer: who's a good boy? dog: I am lawyer: your honor I rest my case"

"What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies? A fart. *dedicated to my dear departed Grandfather who told me this joke almost 40 years ago when I was a kid.*"

"What foods are still good the second or third time you've eaten them? I'm looking for food for my human centipede..."

"Why did the president start the bar fight? So he could pass the bill."

"Tampax has announced that they will be taking the string off tampons and replacing it with tinsel. This is for the Christmas period only."

"kids grow up so fast now a days like just the other day my daughter was asking me awkward sexual questions like ""Is that the best you can do?"""

"GUY WHO JUST LOVES SHARKS: Can I pet the sharks? SHARK HANDLER (who sometimes makes bad decisions): Yeah that should be ok"

"Definition of Bravery: Accepting oral sex from a cannibal."