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Joke of the Day

"kids grow up so fast now a days like just the other day my daughter was asking me awkward sexual questions like ""Is that the best you can do?"""

"My friend told me how electricity is measured and I was like watt"

"Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team? So that Minnesota does not get jealous."

"Went to a meeting of the Tibetan Ungulates society...... Didn't like it though. It was all ""Yak yak yak"""

"I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don't think it's weird when I have jam in my hair."

"If we were in a fight, I'd mop the floor with you... Except I don't do housework."

"My teacher said he doesn't like imaginary numbers because the uses are limited. I asked him whether he was for reals."

"My sheep friends asked me to find them some drugs so I went to the local animal dealer... Pablo Escobaaaaaa"

"Maybe it's the LSD talking but I am the walrus goo goo goo joob."

"What do you call a banker who is also a skilled fisherman? A loanely master-baiter."