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Joke of the Day

"There's a party in the garden so lettuce turnip the beet"

"I'm never gonna tell the person I'm meeting up with that you said hi."

"Why are all of the accountants supporting Hillary Clinton? They want to save 20%."

"I tried a new asian burrito recently, but the green onions kept falling out. Curse those wrap-scallions!"

"My dear Grandpa died peacefully in his sleep. But his 3 passengers all went screaming."

"The Story of 3 chinese immegrants"

"How do you make a Chevy Malibu float? Pour a glass of soda and add two scoops of Chevy Malibu"

"A Jehovah's Witness followed me. I think I'll send him a lot of unsolicited DMs with knock-knock jokes..."

"How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? Why do you need electric light when you have a glass ceiling?"

"I'm working out again in hopes that I can wear my superhero shirt in public without someone saying, ""Batman really let himself go""."