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Joke of the Day

"I tried a new asian burrito recently, but the green onions kept falling out. Curse those wrap-scallions!"

"I wonder if Scarlett Johansson ever fantasizes about fat comic book nerds, or is that just a one-way street?"

"No thanks, cosmetics lady. I'm years past 'bare & natural'. Save us both some time & show me the stuff you'd need to prep & refinish a wall."

"Dead babies What's worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees!"

"There is only one ideal dance partner & it is an empty apartment"

"Why did broke man fall over? He ran out of balance"

"Guys whose fathers left when they were young always complain about how they never had someone to ""teach them how to shave"" but it's easy... You start at the ankle and work your way up!"

"How do you say 'The Torah' in German? Kindling."

"How did the Mathematician relieve his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil!"

"I want to make a joke about Mexicans... ... but I don't want to cross the border."