198592

Joke of the Day

"I'm never gonna tell the person I'm meeting up with that you said hi."

"How do you stop millions of children from going to bed hungry every night? Take away their beds..."

"Why was the waffle jealous of the pancake? The pancakes was flattered."

"*i get chased into a dark alley* Please no *two men walk up to me holding a knife* ""If you join our insurance you can save up to-"" NOOOOOOO"

"5yo and her friend just ended an argument by deciding they would ""have a piece of cheese and calm down"" So, yeah, she's mine."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy"

"""Ok folks who ordered the macaroni & bees?"" ""you mean cheese?"" [waiter struggling to keep bowl covered] ""that does make more sense actually"""

"What's the difference between a Redditor, Marilyn Monroe, Melania Trump, and Lee Harvey Oswald? One's a jerk who jacks off, one jerked off Jack, one jacks off a jerk, and one's a jerk who offed Jack ."

"What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him? I didn't do it on porpoise."

"You have the perfect face for radio."